Another visit to the Madrid Book Fair. It’s the third year in a row that I won’t be signing books, and also the third year that I haven’t had any novels in bookstores or any plans for new publications. Now I’m approaching everything very differently. Of course, I’m going to publish again; it’s just that I’m going through a reset, a return to square one. I’m back to being the twenty-year-old Javier who started out in this world of literature, and I’m doing it without frustration, without the anxiety of waiting for everything to happen right away. Things will happen, and, most importantly, I’m starting to do everything for myself and not for others. Writing, singing, taking photographs without expecting anything from anyone makes everything purer, more real, and the result more authentic. I’m in another stage of my life where I’m learning not to get angry, where I’m getting to know myself, because I already know who I am, because everything I’ve experienced until now was true, but at the same time, it was a lie.
These days I’m rewriting all the memories of my life in my mind, because now they have an explanation, and above all, knowing who I am at last makes sense, and I feel freer than ever. Above all, I have more desire to do things than I ever have before.
Yes, it’s another rebirth, and I feel that life is giving me a new opportunity to be myself and to finally try to learn how to be a little happy. Will I succeed? I don’t know, because a very long road lies ahead, one that, on the other hand, I intend to travel.
