Categoría: English

Madonna is finally back, and she’s going all out. A year and a half ago, she announced she was recording new music and would be releasing a house album for the dance floor. It was later revealed that it would be a follow-up to her landmark album, Confessions on the Dance Floor, released in 2005, and produced by Stuart Price. Initially slated for release at the end of last year, it was delayed for unknown reasons. Finally, almost two weeks ago, the release of Confessions II was announced for July 3rd, along with the cover art and different editions available for pre-order. The first single from the album, «I Feel So Free,» was also released, and despite not being a single, it’s performing well on the charts with around 4.5 million streams on Spotify in just over a week.

The song sounds powerful and is a blend of 90s house music with the whispered vocals of Madonna’s own «Justify My Love.» It’s a perfect song for the dance floor, and it’s just the introduction to an album that will have sixteen tracks.

After making an appearance last week at Sabrina Carpenter’s Coachella concert, performing a duet titled «Bring Your Love,» the single’s release date has been announced today. It will be released in three days, on April 30th. This song has all the ingredients to become a huge hit and return Madonna to the top of the charts worldwide.
There were many rumors about this possible duet, and it has finally become a reality. I think it’s perfect because it brings together the Queen of Pop and one of the current pop princesses in a single song. Newer generations aren’t aware of what Madonna means to music, what she was, and what she continues to be. Her duet with Sabrina Carpenter, one of the most popular artists among young people today, is a brilliant move. For me, it’s the best introduction to this era, which promises to be one of the best in Madonna’s entire career. I’m really looking forward to it because everything I’ve seen and heard has captivated me. Maybe not so much the album cover, but that’s beside the point.
Personally, I think this return to music by Madonna, after seven years without an album, is about regaining hope in music and having a great sense of excitement for everything that’s to come.

In this whirlwind of feelings, emotions, changes, and everything that’s been happening all at once lately, I’m experiencing an earthquake of sensations inside that I can’t quite explain, but which will soon have an explanation. I’ll finally know who I am, if I’m what I always thought I was, or something so different that it will be a new beginning. This uncertainty is eating me up inside, but I have to keep going day by day.
That’s on top of Mina’s death, the delicate moment the Wiccan community is going through, and, honestly, I still don’t know how I’m managing it all without going crazy or starting to walk on the ceiling.
Meanwhile, we have to keep going; the world keeps turning, and I’m not going to stop for myself.
This week I started receiving the demos of what will be the new song we’re going to record, the ballroom song, and I’m really excited. The producer and I have been communicating these past few days to polish the details. I’m minimalist with the beats, and he’s creative, so we always try to find a middle ground. It’s almost finished, and we’re still deciding whether to record it this Tuesday or next. I think doing it next week would be too soon, and it still needs some polishing, but it’s going to be amazing.

I hope the new album comes out in June, and this one we’re working on will be for next year. And (including the English version of «Mi Jaula,» titled «My Cage»), with this song, we’ll have three.

My next single is already scheduled for May 8th. It’s going to be called «Lonely Night,» and initially, it was going to be a very ’80s-style soul ballad, but in the end, the synth-pop remix version we recorded recently will be the main version because it’s very much in line with where I want to go now, and it connects perfectly with «Make Me Free,» which will be the album’s lead single and also its title track. I’m really looking forward to everything being released after the delay with my initial plan.

Regarding literature, I’ve revisited an idea I was working on while developing the novel I just finished. It was a story set in the early seventies about a gay boy who wants to be a singer. After much thought and reviewing all my outlines, I’ve decided it might be a good idea to move the setting to the early eighties, during the height of the Movida Madrileña cultural movement, and also revisit an idea I had some time ago about writing a story about an Alaska fanatic. Everything would be connected. Preparing this novel will take me at least a few days (or weeks), and I’m eager to start writing it.

I look at myself in the mirror and ask myself, Javier, who are you?

These days my head is a whirlwind. So many things are happening at once, and sometimes I don’t know how I manage to seem like I can handle it all when inside I’m about to break down, because I think it’s too much, that I can’t take it all, and that I need to rest.
Going to the recording studio is like therapy for me, because there I leave my own world and enter another where I fit in, I can be myself, and I do something that makes me happy: sing.

This morning I had an appointment and I was able to disconnect from the real world for a while. We weren’t going to record any new songs yet, so it was time for the Spanish version of «Make Me Free,» titled «Hazme Sentir». The recording went really well, and I felt comfortable. Since I love this song so much, I really enjoyed it. I’ll keep recording Spanish versions because the idea is to eventually have a Spanish album.
Afterward, I showed the producer the song we’re going to record now so he can start producing the backing tracks. This is a song I composed inspired by ballroom culture, and it’s sure to be very catchy.

Although my new album hasn’t been released yet, having the next one already started gives me a lot of peace of mind to work at a relaxed pace, knowing I have enough material to release another album next year.
In the meantime, I’ll keep working.

In a somewhat impromptu way, we filmed a new music video today, or at least we tried. I say «we» because I don’t know what will come of it. We didn’t film much footage, and some of it won’t be usable because of the lighting. I hope I can salvage something from the rest. If not, we’ll come back another day to film more. Anyway, the music video format is a bit outdated since TikTok, Reels, Shorts, and other short video formats won the battle (I remember the Vine days. Everything comes back around). Now a music video is more of an excuse to upload content to social media and short videos. That was the idea today: not to make a music video, but to create a montage of images that could be used on social media, with minimal playback and a lot of content that could grab attention. Besides, today’s song (which will give the album its name) is the most upbeat one I’ve ever made, and it calls for a bit more dynamism and fewer typical music videos with people lip-syncing in front of a wall.

I don’t know if we succeeded, but we tried. With two looks (one with a Wednesday Addams-style shirt and another with a sleeveless t-shirt and skeletons, more punk), you could say I’ve just been messing around a bit. Let’s see what happens. We also went back to a place that was legendary in my early music videos, Roma Park, where we filmed two versions of «Invítame A Volar» (Invite Me to Fly). Today I discovered that the place has less potential than I remembered.
As for the other single I re-recorded last week, I was debating whether to use the footage we shot a few months ago (which made me hesitate because I’m wearing crosses) or do a new one. But, since it’s getting harder and harder for me to go out and film (laziness mode on, ideas mode off), this morning I did a test with the footage we shot and the new version (which I don’t have the final mix for yet), and the playback works. That way I confirmed that both versions have the same tempo and the footage works. I’m considering using that footage, since I look pretty good in it, despite the crosses. Anyway, the crosses represent a huge stage of my life (and one I don’t know if it will ever return), and we shouldn’t deny who we are or who we’ve been. It’s very likely I’ll use them.

Now I have to decide whether this single will come first, or the one that will give the album its name. I’ll decide in the next few days, as my mind is elsewhere and I need to sort out some other ideas first…

Now, the new album is finally finished. It happened last Tuesday.
As I feared, when I received the full demo of the remix of what was originally going to be the next single, I liked it so much that I decided that version should be the main one, leaving the ballad as if it were a soul remix or something like that. The production and the new feel of the song are too much me to leave it as a remix. For me, it surpasses the original ballad and it’s worth waiting a little longer for the single to come out. It doesn’t matter. I need this version as the main one.
The bad thing is that the music video I already shot probably won’t work, since I think the tempo is faster. Almost better, that way I continue on my path of getting rid of the crosses, since in it you could see my classic crosses in my ears and another black one hanging from my neck. Aren’t I experiencing a rebirth, an encounter with my path? Well, let’s fully rebirth, even if everything takes a little longer to arrive.

The recording went really well, very smoothly, and I’m convinced that the final result will be nothing less than something that truly represents me and the sound I want for the future.

If everything goes according to plan, after this single will come the title track and the album, hopefully before summer. I’m creating my best songs and I don’t want to rush things. I’m just starting to find my way, discovering myself after realizing that I’m not who I thought I was (or maybe I am, I don’t know, I’ll find out soon), so everything is a bit up in the air because I have other things on my mind.

The important thing is that I’m moving forward, with a firmer step than ever before.

On this spiritual path I began a few months ago, which is changing (or rather, evolving) day by day, I’m learning and discovering fascinating things and places where I feel a sense of belonging. What started as a few questions I asked myself—like whether all this effort is worthwhile, where I’m going, what my destiny is, and above all, countless whys—is leading me down the right path and to a reconnection with myself through something that has always been there, but which now has more presence and meaning than ever before.

To do this, the first thing I have to do is be honest with myself and shed everything that prevents me from walking and growing with coherence.

It’s not the first time in my life that I’ve peeled back layers to discover my true self, and you can always shed more until you connect with your own truth.

This past Sunday, I did something coherent. I took off the crosses that had been hanging from my ears for two years. That was the first step. The next was to reflect and continue asking questions. I found the answer yesterday, putting away those crosses and the other cross earrings, adding my crucifix pendants, which have been with me for so many years and have been a mark of my identity. The photos and videos are there. I even filmed one that hasn’t been released yet, in which I wear crosses. Now I have to ask myself if that video will be released or if I’ll film a new one.

For me, crosses have always been objects that symbolize my gothic side and my passion for cemeteries. They represent the gothic world. For other people, they are religious symbols, but in my world, they ceased to be so many years ago.
Within that framework, I had to make a decision. The symbols we wear represent us, and crosses no longer represent me. That’s why I’ve put them away. Life is full of stages, and for now, I’m closing this one. Time will tell if I’ll bring them out again, but I’m afraid it won’t be that way.

I’m becoming more and more myself, and I’m getting more and more answers. Now what I must do is keep walking and keep searching for the meaning of what I carry inside, both in my mind and in my heart.
I’m living through intense days for these reasons, discovering things that have always been within me, but which I couldn’t name. Sometimes putting a name to things brings you more peace, and at this stage of my life, I need inner peace more than ever, so I’ve decided to find names for things in order to also give myself a name. I’ve always been Javier, and I always will be, but what does it mean to be Javier? That’s the answer I’m searching for, and I’m going to find it.

There comes a point when certain symbols stop feeling like self-expression and start feeling like inheritance.

Not everything we wear belongs to us.
Not everything we repeat still speaks for who we are becoming.
Sometimes we carry images, gestures, aesthetics, entire visual languages, long after they have stopped telling the truth.

I have been thinking a lot about that lately.

About what it means to strip away symbols that once felt beautiful, dramatic, familiar, even protective, and realize that familiarity is not the same as meaning. That repetition is not the same as identity. That something can be visually striking and still no longer be mine.

There is a strange kind of silence in that moment.
Not a loss.
A clearing.

A threshold between what was borrowed and what is chosen.

I am drawn more and more to symbols that feel darker, quieter, more personal. Black keys. Black roses. Black bats. Black skulls. Not as decoration for the sake of decoration, but as fragments of a language that feels closer to the truth. Mystery. Mortality. Night. Beauty. Locked doors. Hidden selves. Survival. The tenderness inside ruin.

These symbols do not ask for explanation.
They do not perform belief.
They do not lean on inherited meanings that were never fully mine to begin with.

They simply exist in my world and speak my language.

There is something powerful about choosing your own iconography. About refusing to let your image be shaped by symbols that carry stories you do not want to tell. About understanding that style is never only style. It is also memory, instinct, projection, armor, desire. It is the visible shape of what lives underneath.

This is not a dramatic rejection of the past.
It is something calmer than that.
More precise.
More honest.

A shedding.

A refusal to keep wearing what no longer reflects me.

I am not interested in becoming less dark.
If anything, I want to become more exact.
More intentional.
More fully myself.

Not louder. Clearer.

So this is not about abandoning beauty.
It is about finding the beauty that is actually mine.
The one that does not need borrowed symbols.
The one that rises from within my own shadows.

Some things have to be left behind, not because they were meaningless, but because they no longer belong to the person standing here now.

And sometimes the most honest thing you can do is let old symbols die, so something truer can finally be seen.

Deep and fun questions to ask yourself!

Do you like watching sunsets? Yes
Have you ever started a rumor? No
What makes you laugh out loud? Everything except assholes
What was the last concert you went to? Marilyn Manson
If you believed in it, what would you be reincarnated as? Myself
What’s your current vocal exercise? Singing (Hopefully oral sex)
What shirt are you wearing? I’m not wearing one
Who or what are you thinking about? Music
What are your favorite shoes? New Rock
What would easily win you over if someone gave it to you? A book
Three words describe you? Weird, different, special
Do you have any funny memories? No space here
Do you have any anecdotes from when you were drunk? I’ve never been drunk
What’s something you have that you’re sure no one else has? We all share something. Nobody has anything that nobody else has.
Do you have any superstitions? No, but I never walk under a ladder.
What’s your forbidden pleasure? I don’t let my pleasures be forbidden. I enjoy them, period.
What’s the weirdest thing you do when you’re alone? Dance.
What’s the worst food you’ve ever had? If I don’t like something, I don’t eat it.
Which fictional character would you bring to life if you could? Freddy Krueger.
If you could start a career right away, what would it be? Psychology.
What motivates you during the day? That nothing goes wrong with my plan.
What song have you been listening to on repeat lately? «Surrender To the Night» by Minute Taker.
What’s your funniest inside joke? That people are intelligent.
What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? Him.
What’s your favorite theme within your niche market? Goth.
What fandom do you currently belong to? I’ve never belonged to anything.
What’s your most controversial opinion? Be yourself and don’t change for anyone.
What’s your favorite couple and why? Me and myself. No comment.
Do you have piercings or tattoos? What are they? 6 piercings. 5 on my face and the sixth one isn’t visible.
What’s your best and worst quality? Being myself.

The holidays are over, even though they were only supposed to last a week and my initial plan was to rest, but it wasn’t to be. Mina had a crisis and I’ve been acting as her nurse day and night. I thought we were going to lose her, but that hasn’t been the case. By increasing her medication, she’s been recovering a little. At least being on vacation allowed me to keep an eye on her. She’s been on so much medication for a year now that it’s weakening her considerably. Even so, she hasn’t lost her appetite or her will to live. She’s teaching us a great lesson. Giving her the best possible quality of life remains the priority, and the truth is, despite the side effects of the medications that make her almost hyperactive, she’s been very well-behaved.

Anyway, I was able to go out during the day, despite the rain, and take walks, celebrate the Wiccan’s birthday, and enjoy my free time.

These past few days I also wanted to film the music video for what will be the title track of the new album, but between the rain and the fact that the dentist gave me a nasty cut on the right corner of my lip, it wasn’t possible. We’ll try again in about a week.
For now, the single of the house remix of «Make Me Free» is scheduled for this Friday, and although the distributor hasn’t confirmed it yet, a week later, I hope it will arrive on time. I haven’t received the demo of the next remix yet, but it doesn’t matter because for now I’m sticking to the plan and everything is going more or less as expected. These days I’m also working on proofreading my new novel, and although it’s getting harder and harder to concentrate and stay organized without getting distracted, I try to make my lucid, inspired moments productive. It’s something I should be used to, but it really is getting harder and harder. Ten years ago I would have finished proofreading it already, but I’m only a quarter of the way through.
Patience, Javier.