I finally know who I am. I finally have answers to a life filled with clumsiness, stumbles, and misunderstanding from others. I always knew I was different, and now I know why.
“Javier, you’re so weird.” “Don’t be like that, Javier.” “Why are you doing that, Javier?” “Behave yourself, Javier.” “You should change and be like everyone else, Javier…” These are phrases I’ve heard my whole life (and will continue to hear), and they’ve made me feel so small. Now everything makes sense, and I know I’m not small. I’m huge, because I have the most powerful weapon I could ever possess: knowledge. It’s been a process that has lasted a whole month (two since I decided to start). It’s turned out to be a very difficult, hard, and painful journey, but the kind that hurts on the inside, not the outside, and it’s been worth it. To put it simply, it’s as if dawn has suddenly broken.
Knowing who I am has not only given me a new opportunity and answers to many things and behaviors, but it has also brought me sadness (for feeling that everything would have been different if I had known sooner and for many memories that have always made me unhappy) and anger (for all those who have treated me badly for being different). The past can’t be changed, and now I just have to look ahead.
Welcome to the rest of your life, Javier.
